EMDR & You: Positive Person 

 Welcome! Are you on the hunt for more coping skills that will help lower your emotional dysregulation? Have you tried different grounding techniques and found them to be helpful, but maybe find that you need something more? Look no further than the EMDR & You series! In this article, I will briefly discuss what EMDR is and how you can use one of its skills to better regulate your emotions and find that inner balance. 

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a type of psychotherapy designed to help people process and heal from traumatic experiences.

Developed by psychologist Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, EMDR uses guided eye movements (or other forms of bilateral stimulation) while you, as the client, recall distressing memories. This process is thought to help the brain reprocess those memories, reducing their emotional intensity, and help you gain a new perspective. EMDR is commonly used to treat PTSD, anxiety, depression, and other trauma-related conditions.

If interested, check out the blog post: What is EMDR? for a more comprehensive explanation. 

One of EMDR’s grounding techniques (by grounding technique I mean a skill that decreases tension and increases awareness of yourself, your surroundings, or the present moment) is the Positive Person exercise. This skill works to shift emotional states by sitting with an example person who embodies characteristics you admire or respect. Below are step-by-step instructions to help you practice this skill; however, be aware that it can be helpful to listen to someone read it out loud as you go (e.g., a therapist, friend, or partner). 

Positive Person

  • Begin by sitting in a position that is comfortable and neutral (e.g., feet resting on the ground, spine straight without forcing it into position)
  • Attune to your breath. Notice what it feels like just to breathe. Close your eyes if comfortable. 
  • Begin to picture or think of someone who has a characteristic, made a decision, or holds a belief that you admire or think of positively.
      1. This person can be real or imaginary 
      2. It doesn’t have to be the entire person you respect/admire; it can be simply a choice they made or a characteristic (e.g., generous or patient). 
  • While thinking of this characteristic, notice any changes to your body 
      1. Does your stomach unclench? 
      2. Maybe your chest feels lighter? 
      3. Maybe there’s no change, and that’s ok too. Just pay attention. 
  • If you’d like, gently tap back and forth on your knees, slowly and gently. 
      1. This is a form of bilateral stimulation, which “helps” our brain process and retain information. When done slowly,  it can help your body slow down and think more clearly and help the positive thoughts/sensations settle in. 
  • Spend some time (3-5 min) sitting with this person and continue to notice changes to your body’s sensations.
      1. Spend more or less time as desired. There is no rule or right or wrong length of time.
  • When ready, focus back in on your breath and slowly come back to the present moment.

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