Anger is a universal human emotion. In other words, the vast majority of individuals experience variations of anger (i.e., grouchiness, irritability, annoyance, fury, outrage) in their day-to-day lives. Some individuals want to learn how to manage the way that they express anger, while other individuals want to learn how to channel their anger to meet certain objectives. Regardless of your desired outcome, the first step to altering your experience requires understanding anger, including how we evolved to experience this specific cluster of physiological sensations and what factors prompt this emotional experience.
Anger, like other core emotions, is a label that we have given to a set of physiological and mental changes that simultaneously occur in the body, that specifically includes muscles tightening, teeth clamping, hands clenching, flushed face, and urges to move quickly or attack. These physiological changes are often accompanied by anger thoughts, which may include believing that one is treated unfairly, blaming others, believing that things “should” be different, being sure that one is right, judging, and ruminating on the event that set off the anger. Regardless of an individual’s intent or personality type, experiences of anger will generally map on to this cluster of physiological changes.
Emotional experiences evolved to do something for us. In other words, each emotional experience serves an adaptive function that made it more likely to be naturally selected. Fear directly maps onto survival with the fight or flight response. Guilt serves to prevent actions that are against an individual’s morals, which may prevent reckless activity. Shame works to prompt people to “fit in” so groups are less likely to ostracize an individual, which would leave that individual more vulnerable. Anger also has a function. Anger works to motivate and enact goal achievement and self-defense. Anger also has a protective function.
Anger evolved with a particular function (defense, achievement, protection), and therefore, anger is suitable or justified in certain situations where anger is adaptive. These situations include, but are not limited to, having an important goal or desired activity be interrupted or prevented, being attacked or hurt by others, having someone you care about being attacked, or noticing that the integrity or status of your social group is offended or threatened. If anger organically arises from these situations, notice how the anger could potentially be helpful. The energy that accompanies the physiological sensations of anger is adaptive for pushing through to reach a goal or channeling an intense reaction that prevents others from continuing to attack.
Though if anger organically arises out of these specific situations with adaptive functions, why do individuals experience anger in completely unrelated situations, excessively, and in ways that derail goals? First, although anger organically arises from the prompting events described above, some individuals have been over-conditioned and reinforced to experience anger in a wide range of situations. These individuals may experience immediate anger when a friend has to move away because sadness has been punished (e.g., “do not cry” messaging), and anger has been reinforced (e.g., “you have the right to be angry!” messaging). Second, anger often arises as a secondary emotion based on suppression of a primary emotion. When the friend has to move away, a person in their inability to tolerate the discomfort of sadness, will switch quickly to anger and not notice sadness. Third, anger arises when the anger thoughts are overstated or reinforced in one’s environment, regardless of the facts of the situation. When the friend has to move away, instead of saying to one self, “I just lost something valuable to me,” the individual and their social circle says, “what a jerk, that’s not fair.” There are other ways that anger can be reinforced and over-conditioned as well, including through the sense of power and energy that routinely angry individuals end up experiencing.
Although anger tends to be reinforced and over-conditioned in Western society, particularly among men, it is also important to note that some individuals experience the opposite–their anger has been punished and suppressed. If prompting events such as being attacked or having important goals blocked do not produce irritability, this may be an indication that there is difficulty allowing anger, whereby anger will not be able to fulfill its function.
Determining how to manage or work with anger depends largely on whether the anger is arising organically out of justified prompting events for anger, and therefore, can be channeled with effectiveness, or whether the anger is prompted by excessive reinforcement and secondary interpretations. This discernment will then guide next steps concerning what to do with one’s anger or how to respond to another individual’s anger. Having a healthy emotional life is not about experiencing anger quite frequently or not experiencing it at all, instead, the aim is to experience a full range of emotions (i.e., fear, anger, disgust, envy, jealousy, love, sadness, shame, guilt) in ways that are justifiable and effective.
References
Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. Guilford Press.
About the Author
Samuel Eshleman Latimer (he/his), Psy.D., is a clinical psychology postdoctoral fellow that specializes in effective conflict management and dialectical behavior therapy. Samuel also works to help individuals, couples, and families decrease interpersonal difficulties and manage challenges associated with borderline personality disorder. Samuel believes that people do not need to choose between learning effective techniques that are based on science and developing warm, genuine relationships, as both of these styles complement each other. Click Here to learn more about Samuel’s experience and therapeutic style.